Jealous bride wants to wear estranged sister's wedding dress to her wedding, sister refuses since they're no-contact after an argument: 'She would have to have [it] fitted so it would never be my dress again'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 31, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Borrowing a wedding dress from someone else can be a nice way to bring a little sentimentality into the event. Odds are you want your wedding to be a ceremony imbued with meaning and emotion, or else why would you do it? You want to choose guests that support you on your journey as a couple, you want to choose music that reminds you of the person you're marrying, and you might want a dress that holds some significance in your family. 

Lots of people do this by choosing their mother's or grandmother's dress, perhaps altering it slightly so it fits them. What you probably don't want, though, is to wear something imbued with negative energy. These are exactly the kind of vibes that you want to block from your wedding. There is enough that can go wrong, even if everything goes right. You can't invite chaos for chaos' sake. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10488290048
    via The Now Time

  • That isn't what one woman thought, though, as she was choosing to dress for her big day. After reaching out to a sister who she'd had some major fallingouts with, she thought she could smooth things over with a wedding plan. She wasn't quite ready for her sister's response, though. Read on for the story and see what you think.

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    AITA if I say no to letting my sister wear my wedding dress?

    I (34F) have a sister (37F) who just recently got engaged in February. My sister and I have never been close growing up, to the point where this summer we went no contact after another argument. My partner and I will have been married 3 years this August, and after my partner proposed my
    via u/kittylover419
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    sister messaged me saying she did not want to be involved in the wedding or even hear about wedding plans. Although hurtful I complied, and now that she is getting married she has begun to make contact again. Today while talking to my mother she mentioned that my sister had said
    via u/kittylover419
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    she wants to wear my wedding veil. I told her that was okay as long as I could give it to her with a box stating "something borrowed" as I have already offered it to two other friends with upcoming weddings. Then my mother informs me my sister and her partner are getting married the
    via u/kittylover419
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    weekend of my and my partners wedding anniversary, that they are booking the same photographer, that she wants her photos taken in the same location as mine- and then asked if my sister could wear my dress (which she would have to have fitted so it would never be my dress again). I expressed to my
    via u/kittylover419
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    mother I wasn't sure about using my dress and how I wanted to keep it. However, my father chimed in to the phone call saying I should "just give it to her". AITA if I say no?
    via u/kittylover419
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    [TL/DR - My older sister plans to get married on my anniversary weekend, wear my dress and veil, and take pictures at the same location as I did. AITA to say she can't wear my dress?]
    via u/kittylover419
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    Commenters questioned the sister's motives.

    Dittoheadforever • 16h ago You're NTA and your sister's behavior is weird enough to make a Lifetime B-movie of the week plot outline. However, my father chimed in to the phone call saying I should "just give it to her". Let me guess, he went on to say "to keep the peace."
    via u/Dittoheadforever
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    Reasonable-Sale8... . 16h ago Why would you lend your dress or your veil to someone you don't even speak to? This makes zero sense to me.
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
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    Janetaz18 16h ago . NTA. And store the dress at a trusted friend's house so your mother doesn't somehow come into your house and take it. It's your dress. You deserve to keep it.
    via u/Janetaz18
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    Finnegan7921 • 16h ago NTA. That is YOUR dress. You can't stop her from using the same photographer, booking the venue, sane date, etc but you can sure as h I tell her to get her own dress. What's she going to want next, your husband?
    via u/Finnegan7921
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    Cheezburger Image 10488290304
    via Wesley Tingey

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    NotBettySpaghetti · 16h ago NTA - I don't understand why your sister is trying to replicate your wedding. I have to be honest, I wouldn't even let her borrow the veil. Especially considering she wanted nothing to do with
    via u/NotBettySpaghetti
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    your wedding. Which makes the whole thing even more bizarre considering she's copying you right down to the date or weekend of your wedding anniversary. This is weird.
    via u/NotBettySpaghetti
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    LonelyOwl68 · 16h ago NTA Your wedding dress is yours, to keep and preserve for yourself, or to give away to someone else, if that's what you want to do.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
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    It's very telling that your sister and you haven't been in contact for what sounds like several months, and it's only now that she wants to borrow your veil (at first), and now wants the entire dress (as of now), knowing that you will never have it for your own souvenier of your own. wedding again if you give it to her.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
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    Your father's opinion is his own, and he is entitled to it. Keep in mind, however, that most men rent tuxedos to be married in, clothing that has been worn by probably dozens and dozens of other men before and after them. They don't feel the same way about wedding clothing that women do.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
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    It sounds like your sister, by using the same venue as yours, wearing your veil and dress, and on your anniversary as well, is trying to hijack your memories of your wedding; the photos of all that will complete the deal. Why would she do that? It sounds like she is very
    via u/LonelyOwl68
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    jealous/envious of what you and your husband have and your own wedding, and want's to take those memories away from you for some reason. It's sounds malicious and spiteful to me, dressed up in words that sound like she's making nice but really isn't. She has the choice of any other date, almost any other venue, and getting her own dress and veil.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
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    If you aren't completely comfortable with all that she's doing, don't loan or give her anything at all. These are your memories, your wedding, your dress, yours and your husband's. Don't let her horn in on that.
    via u/LonelyOwl68
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    Ok-Work-410 • 16h ago okay, NTA, you know why.. dont let her have the dress OR the veil tbh, I would honestly cut contact but thats your choice... blah blah whatever, but girl 3 whole. people want your veil??? Can you drop a pic or a link OO?! How beautiful is this thing!
    via u/Ok-Work-410
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    wandering_salad • 16h ago NTA That is such an unusual request, especially coming from an estranged sister who now, when she wants something from you, is making attempts at being back in your life (she will be AWOL again once she no longer needs anything from you).
    via u/wandering_salad
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    All of this sounds mega creepy, she's clearly trying to copy your wedding. Don't even lend her the veil, you'll never get it back. Definitely don't hand over the dress. "This is my wedding dress, which I spent months hunting for and designing and
    via u/wandering_salad
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    making adjustments with my seamstress. This is a very personal garment with so many dear memories. I just don't want anyone else to wear it let alone make alterations to it. I told you I already promised the veil to friends, and I'm not convinced you'll give it back to me after
    via u/wandering_salad
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    the wedding or that it won't be altered or damaged, so I'm not going to lend the veil to you either. Enjoy wedding planning, but please leave me out of it as it's clear you wanted nothing to do with my wedding, so I don't know why you are now asking for my involvement in yours."
    via u/wandering_salad
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    miamarcal · 16h ago NTA but a question: who paid for your wedding? The dress? Either way, I concur with others. Move items to a trusted friend's house and say "no".
    via u/miamarcal
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    CrazyPirate79 · 16h ago NTA No veil! Absolutely NO dress! And go back to No Contact. Your sister is being super weird.
    via u/CrazyPirate79
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    Worth-Season3645 . 16h ago NTA...what? This sister who wanted nothing to do with your wedding, did not attend now not only wants your veil, but your dress as well and us basically mirroring your wedding? Just tell her no to everything. You have gone no contact. Keep it that way. The only reason there is contact now is because she wants something from you.
    via u/Worth-Season3645
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    KrofftSurvivor 16h ago . Why are you loaning anything to someone your no contact with? No to the veil, no to the dress, no, you won't be at the wedding. No, you don't give a and if your parents are upset about it - well, you already knew they were like this.
    via u/KrofftSurvivor
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    livesina-dream • 16h ago NTA personally if I went to a wedding with this much stolen sh, I would think the bride is a loser. Why does she want to embarrass herself like this..?
    via u/livesina-dream

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